You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
