Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
