just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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