would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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