any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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