I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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