You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
