So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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