Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
