There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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