Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
