who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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