and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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