Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
