I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
