Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
