Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
false alarm, still single
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
