Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
