yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
