Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
