Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just cut my nipple shaving
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
