I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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