If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i used baking grease as lip gloss
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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