we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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