I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
