i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
