Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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