Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
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i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
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