Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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