My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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