if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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