I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He did a backflip because drugs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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