i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
