I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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