he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
