Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
