god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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