Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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