There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
