So drunk its hurt
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
