Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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