Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
