im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
