What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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