I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
