He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
