there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i need to put some appletini on your dick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize