Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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