Got a toothbrush?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
