I think my vagina is haunted
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
