Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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