WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
