im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
