I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
