Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Randomize
