3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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