Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
