my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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