Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
