A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
