mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
