things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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